Travel Anxiety
Having anxiety when you travel is soooo normal. It is not just you, I promise. You have a million thoughts running through your head- did I forget something? Are we going to miss our flight? Is there traffic? Is the weather bad? I wonder what the security line looks like? Is this plane going to crash? And everything else in between. On top of that you are normally around other people with the same worries and anxieties which just doubles tension. I actually like the airport aesthetic- TSA pre-check and the Delta SkyClub helps with that part. My travel anxiety starts when I board the plane. Like a lot of people know, flying anxiety is very real. Even though I have flown at least once a month for 7 years of my lifetime, it still sneaks up on me sometimes. And I know I know, flying is the safest way of traveling but it still gets me sometimes! Taking off and turbulence are the worst. I have almost cancelled two trips to Europe because of the anxiety and panic attacks I was having before the trips- both times I was already at the airport. Going through a panic attack is the worst but I can’t let them win. I ended up going on both trips and being SOOOO glad that I did, but it was hard to get through and force myself to board the plane.
Here are two times I had a panic attacks while traveling and what I did to overcome them:
“Honey, no one is dying on this plane!”
Circa fall of 2018, Matt and I were long distance. He lived in Washington DC and I was finishing college in Milledgeville. So a lot of my weekends consisted of driving two hours to the airport after my Friday morning class to make the flight to Raegan International Airport for the weekend. I always bought basic tickets which means they were the cheapest but I did not get to pick my seat- which was fine because I was a poor college student just trying to see bae. Well this particular Friday morning I was feeling anxious. Anxious about what you ask? Well that is the beauty of anxiety, you don’t know <3 I got a middle seat in between two very large men and the air conditioning did not seem to be working during the flight. About half way through while I was watching a little movie, here it came- full blown sweats and panic. I was convinced I was about to die on this plane and was not going to make it to Matt. I started to see black dots and breathing heavy and couldn’t feel my hands anymore. Tears started streaming down my face like I was crying but my face was not showing any emotion. I turned to the man next to me and calmly said “I need to get out to use the bathroom.” His eyes got wide as he saw my psychotic face crying but not really crying and got out really fast. I walked to the back of the plane to get a flight attendants attention and to tell them I was going to die I guess. It was an Atlanta based crew so their southern accents were on fleek! I told the first flight attendant southern woman I was having a panic attack and I thought I was going to die and not make it to DC and she started asking all the comforting flight attendant questions: Are you traveling alone? Yes. How old are you? 22, lol. Are you flying to someone? Yes, my boyfriend. Do you normally have panic attacks on flights? I guess. Do you want a glass of wine to calm down? Probably. She gave me a bag to breathe and let me sit in her chair in the back with her. A few minutes later a different flight attendant woman came to the back of the plane with us with the THICKEST southern accent. She asked what was going on and the other flight attendant explained my panic attack and my worry to die on this flight. She turned to me and I will never forget what she said: “Honey, no one is dying on this plane! There are four engines on this plane. If one goes out, guess how many we have….. 3 left. And if one of those go out, guess how many we have left, 2. And if one of those goes out, guess how many we have….. We have another left. Now go sit down in your seat so we can land and I can get you to your boyfriend.” And I did exactly that. And she was right, I lived and I saw Matt. I think about her a lot. I hope she is doing well.
Quick little panic attack on the way to London <3
January of 2023, my best friend was flying to London by herself. So immediately I had FOMO. It was a long weekend and I had the Delta points and it was last minute and it worked out because I didn’t have anything going on that weekend and I really wanted to go and those are two good enough reasons to go. The feeling of booking a ticket to London the morning of felt incredible but the anxiety and panic that crept in on the way to the airport that night did not feel as incredible. I thought the Delta SkyClub would make me feel better with a hot chamomile tea but it did not :) My anxiety started saying to me “you have never flown to another country by yourself before. You will probably get sex trafficked. You are going to die. You will never see Matt or your friends or family again.” It was constant worry and fear for two straight hours as I waited for my flight. And when I tell you it took every ounce of my body and soul and mind to board that plane, it did. When they scanned my passport and I boarded the plane, I knew that was it. I talked to Matt on the phone the whole way through as he talked me down (he is an angel) until I reached my seat. Then it was me and God from there. As we crossed the Atlantic Ocean there was crazy turbulence and I started to lose feeling in my hands and could not breathe well. I did all of the things you are supposed to do when you have a panic attack: the 4-7-8 breathing (breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds and breathe out for 8 seconds), 5-4-3-2-1 technique (say 5 things you can see in front of you, 4 things you can touch around you, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste), playing a game on my phone, reading. And I was still not well. I think I finally either got tired enough or blacked out completely because I woke up and we had landed in London. I got in a cab and met Makayla and I was totally fine after that. That is the thing about anxiety and panic attacks, they are not predictable and sometimes they are not manageable. Each person overcomes these attacks in different ways. It is hard and takes time but if you can learn things that help you personally, it is always good to have a routine. My routine includes Matt and breathing techniques.
